Five years ago in January I wrote a blog post about how I felt myself slipping into an attitude of skepticism. You can read that blog post here. I vividly remember publishing this post, because the very next day turned out to be a monumental day in the history of our country. As January 6th unfolded, I watched on television as a crowd of people stormed into the Capitol.
With that kind of news headline unfolding on the heels of confessing my skepticism, it’s no wonder that I found myself fighting an attitude of cynicism.
Needless to say, I don’t think my fight against skepticism has gotten easier over the past few years. What the Lord brought to my attention then, He is continuing to bring to my attention now. It appears that my fight against cynicism is ongoing.
Since 2021, it seems an infinite amount of news cycles and social media posts have rolled out. Now AI images and reels are added to the mix, and we are left to decipher what is deserving of our attention. More aptly, we’re left to decipher what is even real or true. This is the problem at the root of skepticism: the inability to trust.
Recently, my older boys and I watched the Hunger Games. In the final movie, while Peeta is healing after being subjected to torture and brainwashing, he poignantly asks Katniss, “Real or not real?” in order to make sense of his reality.
Brainwashing and pain had disrupted his memories and even his ability to trust himself and the outside world. “You love me, real or not real?,” he asks her. “Real,” she reassures him.
In this way, by checking in and getting reassurance about his own memories he begins sorting his way through the false messages he has been fed and begins to find assurance again in what he knows to be true.
I love this imagery, because it speaks to the deep, innate need we have to find what our minds and souls know to be true, even in the onslaught of false messaging. Even after we have been burned and hurt repeatedly by those we thought we could trust.
I’d love to blame all of my cynicism on social media and the news, because I believe these influences have truly fanned the flames. However, at the root of my skeptic heart is my own self-protective strategy. Self-protection is a survival gift, but it can also build walls around our minds and hearts.
I’ve lived through difficult experiences over the past few years that have taught me to brace for impact. I have had to unlearn things I used to think were true, but now know are unhelpful at best and propaganda at worst.
I’ve gotten used to bracing myself while scrolling social media, not knowing which disturbing advertisement, inflammatory news story, or insensitive post may next come across my screen. I’ve learned to brace myself against well-meaning parenting advice that isn’t helpful while navigating the rearing of sensitive and neurodivergent children. I’ve also learned to brace for the inevitable meltdowns that erupt in my household due to raising neurodivergent children with big behaviors. I’ve learned to brace against bad news regarding health diagnoses of friends and family, uncertain job circumstances, and the passing of extended family members. Because I have Ehlers Danlos, which means dealing with hypermobile joints, I’m often literally bracing my joints to provide stability.
I think it’s safe to say that my body has learned the art of bracing.
I think skepticism may be the mind’s equivalent. It’s the act of defiantly holding negative or triggering messages at bay in order to maintain mental safety.
Being asked to let go of skepticism is in some ways like being asked to trust again after learning that people aren’t trustworthy.
Here I think it’s appropriate to distinguish between discernment and skepticism, because I believe they are inherently different. Discernment is judging rightly with wisdom and understanding the motivations and spirit of the message and the messenger. This is a healthy and important gift. We all need wisdom and discernment and we are told in James 1 that we can ask for wisdom and it will be given to us. Skepticism on the other hand can harden our hearts and become a form of negativity and bitterness.
How then can we ensure that our self-protective strategies don’t make us bitter? The spiritual answer is to confess and ask the Lord to take our hard hearts and make them soft again. This is the conclusion I came to in my original post and am apparently still learning. I guess this is going to be an ongoing process.
Truly, we cannot love others or hear others when our arms and hearts are braced in self-protection. We need the Holy Spirit to help us.
Another practical answer to fighting skepticism is to find places of goodness and connection. Our nervous systems are wired to brace for impact when we are threatened. Living in a world that constantly feels threatening continues to send the message to our nervous systems that the world is unsafe and cannot be trusted. As we spend time lovingly face to face in connection, we are literally teaching ourselves that in community is grace and safety. We can practice receiving and giving grace, receiving and giving care, receiving and giving forgiveness, and receiving and giving authenticity. (Be on the lookout for safe, life-giving people in order to practice these things.)
We can also be on the lookout for moments of joy, gratitude, and beauty. These are what I love to call glimmers. Experiencing connection, joy, and beauty sends the message to our nervous systems that we are safe and we can let our guards down. There is beauty in the world and as we spend time reveling in it, our souls are refreshed and our bodies can relax from some of the bracing. Nature and music are two great places to start.
As we spend time with the Lord, in healthy community, and enjoying beauty in our lives, we are actively renewing our hearts, minds, and souls. We are also better able to test what is “real” and “not real.”
So, as we head into 2026, I hope you and I will strive to be discerning, but with soft hearts. May we shed the armor of cynicism, and step into the joy and curiosity of childlike faith, holding tight to our Father’s hand.